We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson

I LOVE Shirley Jackson's writing. I love the way she describes things and how see views the world around her. She writes about hidden suburban sickness. She was desperate housewives before that became a theme in popular culture. The smiling happy faces hiding dark secrets and depraved acts underneath.

That being said this was the second time I read this book. I believe this may be the only novel I've read more than once. I picked it up because I saw a reprinting with the most gorgeous cover and I had to own it and I feel guilty when I own a book that I haven't read, so I read it. She never disappoints, even reading it again I was fascinated by the neurosis of both the Blackwood girls as they lived their 'lives' by their daily routine.

Merricat, said Connie, would you like a cup of tea?

Oh no, said Merricat, you'll poison me.

Merricat, said Connie, would you like to go to sleep?

Down in the boneyard ten feet deep!

I feel sick.

I feel like shit. I left work early yesterday and called off for today. I never get sick but when I do I turn into the biggest baby on the planet. I get super bitchy and mostly want to be waited on hand and foot and then left to my own devices. I remember one of those lame family shows that I used to watch as a kid had an episode where they gave a sick child a bell to ring when she needed something. I think it was full house. I want a bell. I want to ring it and have someone come running, give me what I need, and then they must go away.

So today is reading day. I'm gonna drink earl grey tea and oj and read the 6 books and 1 magazine on my nightstand.
They are:
Bitch Magazine: The Noir Issue
Aloud: Voices from the Nuyorican Poets Cafe - Ed by Bob Holman and Miguel Algarian
Crafting the Body Divine - Yasmine Galenorn
Witches & Warlocks - Ed by Marvin Kaye
Son of a Witch - Gregory Maguire
We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson
The Guide to Getting It On (6th Edition) - Paul Joannides, Psy.D.

I probably won't finish any of these but I should make some significant progress. Then I won't feel guilty about checking some new books out from the library. Although, I will probably get some for Christmas.

Have a blessed day....

Last night after practice I had to stop at the 'iggle (Giant Eagle as burghers say) and pick up a few things. It's about 15 minutes before they close so I am running around the store like a maniac trying to find everything. I run up to the cashier and she does her usual spiel. We do the cash out, and at the end she told me to have a blessed day and Happy Holidays. Now, I'm not a religious person, but that really touched me. This women cashes out hundreds of people each day and she takes the time to tell each one to have a blessed day. I find it really touching. Hopefully she continues telling people to have a blessed day as long as she can talk.

Nightmares...

I AM EXHAUSTED.

Why am I exhausted? Nightmares. Nightmares about roller derby to be exact.

For instance, this morning I woke in the middle of a particularly nasty roller derby nightmare. It was a scrimmage practice, but it was open to the public. The travel team was scrimmaging itself and there were hundreds of people watching, except they weren't watching. They were all talking to each other. It got so loud that the entire team was distracted. I used my big mouth and screamed for everyone to shut up. Everyone did except these two guys. I skated over to them and asked them to be quiet so we could practice. The one guy stopped talking and said something to me along the lines of, we'll stop talking when we are done our conversation. I then sat next to them and said well we won't start again until you two are done. At that point half the team left practice and it was just chaos.

I really don't remember much after that, but I woke feeling very anxious and was super tired the whole day at work, I still am. I have to stay awake because we have a hellions get together in an hour. I'm sure it's just nerves because we have having elections and I'm running for captain.

I'm sure some of the tiredness is from not eating right. The other day I ate an entire medium buffalo chicken pizza from Pizza Hut. That's at least 800 calories, not to mention all the Denny's food that I eat. I'm a stress eater and my life has had the stress dial turned up. When I stress about work or derby all I want is a big fat juicy bacon cheeseburger and fries. Just like I had today. My work worries will be another post.

Hopefully tonight will be a good nights rest.